Want High Performance? Invest In Better Conversations.

In today’s climate, skill in having high-quality, high-stakes conversations is in short supply. We either shy away from them altogether or we muddle the message so much that it’s barely received. For teams working on large, priority initiatives, however, this is a critical capability that needs to be cultivated right from the start.

Establishing trust and psychological safety is a good first step, but effective dialogue often requires us to unlearn some patterned behaviors. In our extrovert-oriented culture, we’ve been coached to “Be more assertive” and to “Make sure your voice is heard.” Ironically, the key to better conversations is as much about what you don’t say as what you do.

Chris Argyris, a renowned Harvard Business School professor, spent his academic career studying how people and organizations learn. One of his core discoveries is that while we say we want to learn from one another and are open to new ideas, we are actually more inclined towards “winning” and having our own perspective and ideas prevail. In high-stakes situations, this instinct becomes even more dominant.

Why is mutual learning so important to project teams? In our highly complex, ever-evolving world, the decisions these teams are being asked to make depend as much on judgment and experience as they do on evidence and data. Making sense of all of these inputs demands a mastery of thinking as a group in order to come to shared and better conclusions.

Fortunately, Argyris’ work provides a roadmap for mutual learning. One of his core frameworks, “The Ladder of Inference,” maps how our minds jump from data to conclusions while unconsciously filtering out any data that might contradict our pre-existing view. Everyone is operating from their own ladder, which explains how various individuals may view the same data and yet come to starkly different conclusions.

The key to bridging these perspectives lies in two simple techniques:

Advocacy – sharing our “ladders,” including the data on which we’ve chosen to focus, the meaning we apply to that data, and the assumptions we’re making based on past experiences

Inquiry – asking genuine questions to help understand how another individual has made meaning of the data and why they conclude what they do

Advocacy isn’t about being the loudest person in the room; it’s about helping others see what you see and understand your thinking. Take the time to share examples of the data that most informed your conclusion and talk through your reasoning fully. Remember, your primary goal is not to convince everyone else that you’re correct. Instead, adopt the mantra of “strong ideas, open to influence.”

Inquiry is all about working to understand others’ perspectives in a way that is genuinely curious. (Leave your leading questions at the door.) Instead, ask for others’ examples, experience, and conclusions with an open mind. Try asking:

• Tell me how you got from here to there – walk me through your reasoning…
• I think I would interpret the challenge this way…but I’m curious about how you’re seeing things…
• What past experiences informed your thinking?

Try restating what the other person says to confirm your understanding of it. This technique consistently produces a better experience and better decision-making.

When the stakes of an initiative are high, we don’t bring our best people together just to divide up the work. We bring them together to leverage their diverse perspectives and expertise to arrive at ideas, solutions, and decisions that are stronger or more creative than ones that would be derived by any single individual. To fully harness the potential of your team, teach them to learn from one another.